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Almost the Caliphate by QuantumBranching Almost the Caliphate by QuantumBranching
Well, I've already managed to offend one person, it appears... I imagine this will offend a few more. Apologies to Sarah Palin and John McCain fans. But apocalyptic Christians with launch codes scare me.

A future timeline written in 2008 already alternate history, based loosely on Kratman's rather overrought recent piece of work...

(NOT to be taken too seriously)

70 years since President McCain’s invasion of Iran.

70 years since Second Iraqi Revolt.

69 years since the Siege of Quom

68 years since the Islamicist revolt in Pakistan.

68 years since the First Retaliation (using a liquid-gas filled tanker in San Francisco harbor).

68 years since the reinstatement of the draft.

67 years since President McCain’s re-election on the “they’ll kill us all if you don’t” platform.

65 years since Petraeus’s declaration of “light at the end of the tunnel” in Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan.

65 years since the Second Retaliation vs. NY (using a small nuke gone missing from Pakistan) and President McCain’s heart attack.

65 years since the beginning of anti-Muslim pogroms in the US.

64 years since the beginning of “special security measures” in Europe vs. possible Islamic threats.

64 years since extension of military action to Pakistan, Hamas areas of Lebanon.

64 years since the Chinese finally get entirely fed up with N. Korea.

63 years since Islamicist revolt in Egypt.

63 years since The Last Stand in Islamabad

63 years since election of President Palin on the “Ditto” platform.

63 years since beginning of spread of Pakistan war to Indian border regions.

62 years since the largest scale curtailment of civil liberties since the Bush administration.

62 years since the extension of the war to Egypt, with Israeli help.

62 years since the testing of the first fusion reaction design to produce more power than it took in.

61 years since the Third Retaliation vs. Los Angeles, Washington, London, and Tel Aviv (nobody is entirely sure where the bombs came from).

61 years since President Palin’s and Netanyahu’s enactment of the “kill them all and let God sort it out.”

61 years since mass Muslim riots, unrest in Europe lead to the establishment of a joint policy of Emergency Control in France, Germany, the Netherlands. Mass violence against Muslims (and unfortunately similar-looking Sikhs and Hindus) in the UK.

60 years since the Renewed Caliphate was founded in a hotel half filled with mud and perfumed by the smell of thirty million corpses downriver from the former Aswan dam.

60 years since (in a more positive note) the success of the People Power Revolution and the restoration of genuine democracy in South Africa.

59 years since President Palin was assassinated by her own secret service guards after her stated intention of “speeding the rapture” by inflicting a first strike on Islamicist “ally” Russia.

59 years since the Great Expulsion of the Israeli Muslims and the Palestinians.

58 years since the beginning of the Boykin military interregnum and the temporary suspension of elections.

58 years after Harun Abdul-Wadud, in the midst of a speech at a forbidden public protest, unfortunately shouted “they’re going to kill us all!” just before a nervous special forces member who had just heard the “kill” bit shot him through the head.

58 years since the start of the New Wars of Religion in Europe.

57 years since the Turks invite visitors to their shiny new atomic bomb factory, and note how nice it is that none of their old allies had been silly enough to screw with _them_.

56 years since the Russian snaffling of the Ukraine.

55 years since the formation of the National Unity Party and the banning of the former Green, Socialist, Libertarian, Democratic, and Republican parties.

55 years since Japanese bioengineers win the Nobel Prize (awarded in Iceland for security reasons) for the development of “Omni-weed”, the bioengineered foodstuff that grows pretty anywhere with very little water or actual cultivation. Although it tastes like crap, it is later estimated to have saved close to a billion people from global-warming based famine.

54 years since the return to “free” elections in the US.

52 years since first official US complaint re Canada giving refuge to enemies of the US government (re, Americans who had made tracks north since Palin’s election).

49 years since the end of the New Wars of Religion and the Partition.

48 years since the US invasion of Canada.

47 years since the tanks refused to roll this time and the authority of the Chinese communist party collapsed.

46 years since the establishment of the New Chinese Republic

43 years since the development of gene-targeted drugs which will make AIDS a thing of the past within a generation.

41 years since the coming to power of the Orthodox Party of National Salvation in Russia.

40 years since analysis of the human genome gets to the point where gene therapy can induce minor physical modifications without unexpected results like several dozen fingers. Such procedures are rapidly banned outside of Japan, China, Sweden, and Brazil, where the hunt for the boob gene immediately goes into overdrive.

38 years since the reunion of Taiwan and China proper.

35 years since Palestinian forces defend Mecca and Medina from invading Caliphate forces.

30 years since the establishment of the Holy Order in Russia and the elimination of further elections as unnecessary.

29 years since the final breakdown of the EC and the formation of a new Latin-South American “Catholic axis”.

29 years since the French object strenuously to the implications of that term, noting that unlike the US, they still have more than one party to vote for, and if they favor Catholic immigrants, so what of it?

27 years since increasingly pushy Chinese nationalism leads to the founding of the Confederacy of Indochine.

22 years since the defeat of Caliphate forces at the battle of Nairobi by South African and Kenyan forces.

21 years since the end of the Period of Conquest for the Caliphate, beginning of the era of Consolidation.

19 years since the Japanese robots, androids, and very old people, along with illegal immigrants and the cat-girl fetishist genemods (the two segments of the Japanese population actually naturally reproducing themselves) decide to ally with Russia rather than becoming a US or Chinese satellite.

11 years since the Caliph in his daily message to the people suggests that perhaps, maybe, Allah wouldn’t be entirely displeased if the whole “defeat the infidels by out breeding them” thing might be phased out: after all, they had recouped the losses from the Abomination of Desolation over 30 years ago, and the Caliphate was really getting a bit crowded.

2 years since President Quinby was assassinated for suggesting “Isn’t it time we started returning to some of the fundamental principles of our Founding Fathers? Such as the avoidance of foreign entanglements, and boy, aren’t things a mess in Occupied Mexico lately?”

Unrest continues.
Add a Comment:
grisador Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2016
Awesome... Very awesome
VorentheReaper Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2010   Writer
Kamina Pact Alliance?
QuantumBranching Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2010
A city in the south Congo. Think Warsaw Pact.

VorentheReaper Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2010   Writer
Aww. No :iconkaminaplz:?
QuantumBranching Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2010
Heh. You know, I somehow completely missed that...
Skitzobarber12 Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2010
This is really quite interesting. I am a big fan of alternate history.
Although I did have to sturggle a little to get through this, as I am a Conservative, and I don't really think that world would turn out this way. But of course, that's why its *alternate* history, right?

It would be interesting to see how things would be different if the world had taken a more liberal stance on everything, from Religion, to Nationalism. Just a thought?

Also, one last thing: I love how you stopped Ethiopia from joining the Caliphate.
QuantumBranching Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2010
Well, it's a deliberately over-the-top effort, and by making vague efforts to stay realistic, falls short of the original book, which, after all, had the US nuked with not much provocation by Islamic terrorists, genocidal revenge against the middle east, the US going essentially fascist, Islamic takeover over of Europe and Dhimmization of the Christian population...

A couple of my maps show relatively liberal worlds, but I admit I've never tried to do an all-liberal world: human nature, and all that. :'(
Epee102 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2010
I like to think that if palinwas elected, we'd have our selves a bit protest than mmaking tracks to canda. I'm thinkin a red Revolution...
QuantumBranching Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2010
Well, this was "over the top while avoiding total insanity". But I don't think the Left in this country is up to doing more than grumbling and perhaps holding a few parades involving giant puppets.
Epee102 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2010
Giant Puppets? :rofl: that is true, but i don't think that would stay true through a war in Iran, with the inevitably high casualties, AND anti-muslim policies AND th banning of politcal parties. Then again i do expect more from the left then they will do.
QuantumBranching Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2010
Well, I am rather dubious of the effectiveness of people taking to the streets nowadays, and it strikes me the people who would support the Left are too atomized to mobilize very effectively: we no longer have strong unions, and neither party is interested in seriously challenging the oligarchy (hey, Obama, what ever happened to that "bringing the bankers under control thing?"). If the US started sliding slooowly into an outright one-party right wing state, I am rather skeptical of the notion that there would be some sort of concerted revolt: individual acts of violence, sure, but that just becomes part of the message that we need "order" to stop "terrorists." And far too many "libertarian" and "anti big government" types seem curiously quiet about government violations of civil and human rights and the constitution, in contrast to, say, raising taxes.
Epee102 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2010
we( the left) are more divided then the right, it is true. but if faced with destruction, it seem a more unified left front would emerge by neccisty. if slow enough, i agree this would be the result. 8 years strikes me as a little fast though. All in all, if the left stayed the same as now, then you are totally right.
Epee102 Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2010
on a totally unrelated note, Where is the namesake Caliphate?
Epee102 Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2010
Epee102 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2010
another thought occured.
At the moment Ameicans are, as whole, rather unwilling to radical action because of conditions. However, if this were to change, as it would through a sieres of wars, then this compalcancy would also change. (Sorry cannot spell well)
trixtor0823 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2009
quite interesting, but palin wouldn't have been assasinated, she would havedied from her meds :)
trixtor0823 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2009
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Submitted on
October 29, 2009
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